I once likened being a Real Madrid fan to being in a dysfunctional relationship with a supermodel. But during the Florentino Pérez years, it's been more like an abusive relationship. Sure, she's super-hot, but you get a little tired of getting gut-punched all the time.

At least I did. My interest in Real Madrid has waned to the point that I pretty much only watch the Clásicos and maybe some late-stage Champions League matches--the equivalent of checking out the supermodel's exploits on Facebook from time to time.

Up until right now, when they hired Zinedine Zidane to replace the never-likely-to-succeed Rafa Benitez as manager, Rafa Benitez whom they hired because they fired Carlo Ancelotti for reasons that only make sense to an abusive supermodel. Zidane seems almost certain to fail, even if he is actually ready to manage a team of superstars like Real Madrid. He may be, but talk about a trial by fire. But for him to succeed would require the crazy abusive supermodel to stop being a crazy abusive supermodel, and on the evidence, she's never going to get the therapy she needs until Pérez is gone.

Zidane remains the most beautiful player I've ever seen, so I'll have to watch, for a while anyway, because I want to know: Can he translate the beauty he was able to create on the pitch as a player into a similar beauty as a manager?

So I'm getting involved with Real Madrid again. I'm not quite sure how to extend the analogy in this case. Maybe it's like the supermodel has started hanging out with someone who's even hotter. When the supermodel proves too insane, maybe the hot friend will move on to something better.

Only the entire soccer world is watching. Zizou, I wish you well.